In Charge but Not in Control…

I heard something the other day that made me think,
“We are in charge of our children, but we are not in control of them.”
Could this be any more true?
We can tell them when to wake up, what to wear (at least until they’re three, right?), when to do their homework, shower, brush their teeth (never without a fight), and when bed time is.
However, we cannot decide what school subjects they will enjoy, what sports they’ll be good at, who they’ll pick as friends, or what career path they will choose.
Our children are little, independent people. They are their own person. They have their own plans.
It is our job to support our children in the choices they make. We can help guide them, we can offer our advice, and we can provide all the necessary tools to help them make good choices-but, ultimately, we cannot control their destiny.
They are going to decide if they love or hate Math and English. They are going to decide if they like football, baseball, or soccer (maybe they will hate them all). They will pick friends we might not necessarily choose for them. They’ll date people that we won’t care for (secretly hoping it ends sooner rather than later), they will probably even disappoint us at times…
This is all okay!
Yes, we have passed on our genes to our children, but this does not mean they will turn out to be anything like us (this doesn’t sadden me). I loved basketball and was darn good at it-my girls may never shoot a basket in their life. My husband was a star quarterback in high school-our son may never step foot in a varsity game. I sucked at math-maybe my kids will be Algebra professors. My husband is great at math (he’s an engineer)-maybe my kids will become English teachers.
This is all okay!
My only real hope is that they grow up happy, confident, and successful in whatever they decide to do along this road of life.
My kids aren’t me. My kids are not their dad. They are their own people-learning and growing every single day. They are making a way for themselves.
I want my children to grow up knowing I am their biggest fan! I want them to grow up achieving success in whatever they decide to do, and I will support them. I want them to know that I love them, no matter what! As long as they know these things then I will have done my own job (raising three children) successfully.
There can’t possibly be a better feeling than that!



Filed under Reflections by Andrea

3 responses to “In Charge but Not in Control…

  1. This is so true:) you couldn’t have worded this blog ANY better:)


  2. I’m sure there is no better feeling!!


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