When we are younger we all have dreams: what career path we’ll take, who we’ll marry, what our marriage will be like (blissful every day, of course), what kind of family we’ll have, how our kids will be (perfect students, the stars of sports, lots of friends, scholarships to college, etc, etc…)
I was a perfect wife, until I got married. I was the perfect mother, until I became one. I had it all figured out. It all seemed so simple, until it became a reality!
Life rarely turns out the way we plan. There are so many twists & turns, ups & downs along the way. They don’t call it a roller coaster for nothing!
No one talks to you about how hard marriage can really be: holding jobs, paying bills, screaming kids, in-law drama (every family has it), hardships to get through; all these things while trying to remain united. It’s you two against the world some days. It’s you two against the kids other days (a war in itself at times). “Never go to bed mad”, they say. “Never leave each other without giving a kiss bye and saying I love you (b/c you never know what could happen)”, they say. It’s hard work. We can all make it work-going through the motions, that’s pretty easy. It takes two really awesome, forgiving, loving people to make a marriage thrive (not just work).
No one talks about the heartache that goes along with being a parent: what to do when someone is mean to your kid (it’s not acceptable to smack a mean bully, they say), what to feel when a teacher tells you your child is struggling with reading (and maybe you should push him back a grade), how to handle a coach not giving your child enough play time on the field (because they’re obviously favoring their own kids and want them to be the stars). No one tells you how much it hurts the first time (and many other times) you realize that you’re completely helpless in some situations. Nobody warns you how down right gut-wrenching being a parent can really be- because we all had a plan, a perfect vision. The vision is different than reality.
How does one deal with these realities of being a grown adult, a wife/husband, mother/father?
I’m not perfect. My husband isn’t perfect. My kids aren’t perfect. My dog barks too much (he wants heard, too), there are too many bills to pay, cars break down, pipes leak, kids whine (A LOT), my husband & I fight (over curtains), we don’t get date nights (we need them). It’s all a part of life.
Too many of us are trying too hard to reach perfection-the perfect marriage, the perfect kids, the perfect house, the perfect jobs, the perfect vacations (you know, the perfect lives that 90% of Facebook users portray to have…am I right?)
So, how do we deal with this imperfect, perfect life? I will tell you…
We take it one day at a time!
Often times we are so caught up in things not going exactly our way, we forget all that we should be truly grateful for. We are all too busy focusing on the past and worrying about the future. The present is called the present for a reason. It IS a present! I’m lucky to have a hardworking husband who provides a pretty nice life for myself and our children. I’m lucky that my three children are healthy and thriving (some aren’t so fortunate). I’m lucky to have money to pay the bills, a roof over my head, food in my fridge, and a car to drive. I’m lucky to live in a great community, with a phenomenal school system. I’m lucky for my own good health.
Really, I’m just lucky.
We all need to remind ourselves what’s important! Things aren’t always going to go our way. That’s okay.
If we just focus on today and give it our all, then we are doing the best we can. No one can expect any more from us than that.